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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kameido Street. Gotta love those onigiri, right? I grabbed a couple, and as I was munching, I noticed this old dude staring at me. Like, bro, I’m just trying to enjoy my breakfast! I mean, it’s not like I’m wearing a neon sign saying “Look at me!” But whatever, I shrugged it off.

Founder of Salmon Arm’s sister city exchange helps welcome Inashiki visitors