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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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After lunch, we head back to the lab. Power’s back on, thank goodness. We get back to work, and I’m feeling pumped. But then, I spill a whole beaker of some reagent. It’s like a mini explosion of blue goo everywhere. I’m freaking out, like, “Oh no, my career!” Yuki just laughs again. “You’re a mess, but a lovable one.” Thanks, Yuki.

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