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About Osaka

Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Grabbed a couple for breakfast. I swear, those rice balls are like little hugs in my mouth. But then, I spilled soy sauce all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking sushi roll.”

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