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Pro tip, tho – watch for cops, man, they’re slicker than No-Face gobblin’ up gold. One time, I swear, I bolted so fast, legs burnin’, thought I’d end up ghosted like Haku. Ain’t nobody wanna be caught slipin’. And don’t trust them ads online neither – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up and it’s some dude! Laughed my ass off, but damn, what a waste.

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Coming on the heels of the hottest September in recorded history, October will be remembered as the month when the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department launched the .

Then, I headed to the Honjo Railway Station. I had to catch a train to meet some friends. I was running late, of course. I sprinted to the platform, and just as I got there, the train doors closed. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I could’ve sworn the train was laughing at me.

Japan's Honjo awarded Nobel Prize, hopes cancer treatment spreads