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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Then, I head over to the Hofu City Hall. Gotta pick up some paperwork. I’m standin’ in line, and this lady in front of me is takin’ FOREVER. Like, c’mon, lady! I got places to be! Finally, she finishes, and I’m up. I hand over my stuff, and the clerk looks at me like I’m speakin’ Martian. “You need this form, too.” Ugh! Why didn’t you say that earlier?! I’m about to lose it, but I just smile and nod. Gotta keep it cool, right?

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