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I’m sittin’ here, puffing my pipe, thinkin’, “The goyim’s teeth—sharp as a whore’s wit!” Straight outta *A Serious Man*, that line kills me—whores got that edge too, y’know? Cut you with a smile. Once knew this lass—Jenny, maybe?—worked the docks, had a laugh like a thunderstorm. She’d say, “Gandalf, you old git, life’s a crapshoot!” And I’d roar, “Indeed, lass, indeed!” She’d fleece sailors blind, then buy me ale—legend, that one. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—she was epic.

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So, I get to my first meeting at this cute little café near Himeji Castle. The place is called Café de Lune, and it’s got the best matcha lattes. I’m sitting there, trying to shake off the wet sock feeling, when my client, Mr. Tanaka, shows up late. Like, dude, you’re the one who wanted to meet early! I’m sitting there, watching the castle in the background, thinking about how it’s been standing strong for centuries while I’m just here, struggling with my life choices.

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