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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise the shady corners—42nd Street, pre-Giuliani mess. Now? It’s all digital, baby—apps, sites, boom! You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “Who’s real, who’s a cop?” Gets my blood boilin’—the nerve of these scammers! Fake pics, catfishin’—makes me wanna scream, “Show me the truth!” like Isabelle in the jungle, machete in hand.

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But then, as we’re slurping noodles, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “I’m in the middle of ramen heaven, what’s up?” Turns out, he just won a trip to Hawaii. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me?