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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, yeah? Suave, “shaken, not stirred,” droppin’ in like a parachutist firefighter, all guts and glory. So, sexual-massage, right? Picture this: I’m swoopin’ down from the sky, chute billowin’, landin’ smack in some dimly lit joint—oily hands everywhere, slippin’ and slidin’. It’s like There Will Be Blood, but less oil rigs, more… personal drillin’, ya get me? “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s what I’d say to the masseuse, all cheeky, if she’s hoggin’ the vibe.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grabbed a couple, and the cashier was super friendly. Like, too friendly. I’m just tryna get my breakfast, dude! But whatever, I smiled back. Gotta keep it cool, right?

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