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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started rainin’. I mean, what the heck, Hamada? I didn’t sign up for a water park! I ducked into a little café on Shōwa-dōri. Best decision ever! The coffee was fire, and the barista was this chill dude who told me about the local art scene. He was like, “You gotta check out the gallery on Kōen-dōri.” So, I made a mental note.

Obituary: Paul Hamada