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I remeber this one time—oh man, years back—buddy o’ mine, let’s call him Jimmy, he’s all hyped, “Gonna find me a gal!” He’s bouncin’ round like a dang puppy, made me laugh so hard I nearly cried. Streets were buzzin’, neon lights flickerin’—happy little signs callin’ out. And Jimmy? He’s clueless, askin’ randos, “Hey, where’s the action?” Got me thinkin’—dude, it ain’t a treasure map! Prostitutes don’t just pop up like “Hello, I am here!”—nah, it’s subtle, like “the wind that bends the bamboo.”

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “I can’t just leave!” But curiosity got the best of me. I sneak a peek at my phone, and there’s a video of a cat in a kimono. I’m dying! I’m supposed to be serious, but I can’t help it. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop the gavel!

Guardians DFA RHP Scott Barlow, add LHP Anthony Gose