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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little shrine, the Futtsu-ji. I’m like, “Okay, let’s check it out.” I go in, and it’s super peaceful. I’m trying to meditate, but then this kid starts screaming. Like, why? Can’t a person find their zen in peace?

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