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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill some tea bout sexual-massage – it’s wild, it’s freaky, and it’s got layers, like some messed-up cake from "Far From Heaven." Ya know, that flick’s my jam – all that repressed desire, Cathy whisperin’, “I can’t do this, Frank,” while her hands say otherwise. Sexual-massage? Same vibe. It’s sneaky, slippin’ past yer defenses, makin’ ya feel stuff ya didn’t sign up for.

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Then I head over to the Fukuchiyama Castle. I mean, this place is a gem! The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. I snap a few pics for the ‘gram, you know? Gotta show off a little. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball, and BAM! The ball hits my leg. I’m like, “Seriously?!” But then I see the kid’s face, and he’s just so stoked. I can’t even be mad.

Iganmu Tiger’s trio joins Fukuchiyama Seibi