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Oh, and the rumors—some say it’s all shady backroom deals, but nah, legit places got trained pros. Still, I cackle thinkin’ bout the awkward eye contact—*pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”*—like, “You good, bro?” Hella funny. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like a Bond villain’s secret weapon—massage table, evil smirk, world domination via relaxation.

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So, I rush back to the scene. The owner’s there, and she’s got this whole crowd around her. I’m trying to explain, but she’s not having it. “You don’t understand!” she shouts. I’m thinking, “Yeah, I don’t understand why you thought an iguana needed a swim.”

Figure 5. One-dimensional column test. (a) Schematic illustration of...