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Pisses me off though—some dodgy parlors rip ya off. Greasy geezer last month charged me double, muttering “special service.” Special my arse—left me skint and cranky. Shaken, not stirred, I was fuming! But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s like Juliette Binoche in that movie—mysterious, smooth, leaves ya guessing. “What is it about her?” I mutter, mid-massage, as some bird’s hands work magic. Surprised me how bloody proper some places are—clean towels, no funny business unless you ask. One time, this Swedish chick hummed opera—felt like a king, not a spy.
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After that, I had to head to the construction site on Gagarina Street. Traffic was a nightmare! I swear, I saw a guy on a bike almost get taken out by a bus. Chita drivers are wild! They don’t mess around. I’m sittin’ there, stuck in traffic, thinkin’ about how I should’ve just walked. But nah, I’m a tractor driver, not a pedestrian!
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