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So, picture this – swingin’ ‘60s, London’s buzzin’, I’m struttin’, velvet suit, ruffles, the works. Need a shag, baby, but where’s the dolly? Streets are dodgy, coppers everywhere, makes me twitchy. Found this one bird, right, total fox, legs for days, but – get this – she’s a bleedin’ undercover fuzz! Nearly nicked me, I was fumin’, man! “Who did this to me?” I’m yellin’, like Lenny in “Memento”, all confused and pissed. Dodged that bullet, phew, shag-tastic escape!

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But then, on my way back, I got stuck in traffic on the Chatan Highway. I mean, come on! I was ready to scream. Cars everywhere, honkin’ like it’s a concert. I just wanted to get home.

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