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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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Finally, I get to the front, and the lady behind the counter is super nice. She’s like, “How can I help you?” And I’m like, “I just need some forms.” But then she starts talking about the history of Bibai. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here for a history lesson!” But she’s all about the coal mining past and how Bibai was once a bustling hub. I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, cool story, but I got clients to see!”

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