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About Osaka

So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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Then I decide to grab some lunch at this little ramen joint on Chuo-dori. Best ramen ever! I’m slurping away, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about how Bibai used to have a ton of festivals. I’m like, “Dude, I’m all about that festival life!” But then he goes on about how they used to have a coal festival. I’m thinking, “Coal? Really? That’s the best you got?”

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