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Favorite part? The thrill, baby! Like when Jessica Chastain’s yellin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—that’s you, scorin’ a date after 50 swipes. Feels big, epic! But—ugh—sometimes it’s a bust. Catfish city! Met this chick once—profile said “athletic,” showed up lookin’ like she wrestled donuts. Surprised me, sure, but I rolled with it. “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole”—that’s me, judgin’ too quick.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked, and the crew’s panicking. We gotta wrap it up, but I’m still feelin’ the adrenaline. I’m runnin’ around, helpin’ pack up gear, and I slip on some wet pavement. I go down hard, and everyone’s laughin’. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”

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