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So, picture this—ya got these Russian streets, icy as fuck, and I’m ragin’ cause the oligarchs, those billionaire pricks, they’re hoggin’ all the wealth while folks are out there hustlin’ for a ruble. I’m like, “It’s a long road, man, where’s your home?”—straight outta the movie, ya feel me? Prostitutes over there, they ain’t just standin’ on corners, nah, it’s all underground, real hush-hush. Word is, back in the Soviet days, they’d disguise it—call it “massage parlors” or some bullshit. Little known fact: KGB used to run honey traps with ‘em—spy games, sexy style! Ain’t that wild?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a lifeguard in Arita is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll up to the beach, right? It’s a sunny day, perfect for chillin’ by the water. Arita’s got this vibe, ya know? The streets are lined with cute little shops, and the smell of yakitori wafts through the air. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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