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So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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I’m a single lady and I may want to have sex at some point, ya know? But he was legit terrifying and I’ve never seen that behavior yet. I may want to bring a man home sometime and can’t .

So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Akita Senshu Museum of Art. I’m all about that culture, ya know? But I get there, and it’s closed! Like, what the heck? I’m standing there like an idiot, staring at the locked doors. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Tuesday! Who closes a museum on a Tuesday? Ugh!

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