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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage biz. Ain’t just hands roamin’—it’s a bloomin’ art! Watched *Mulholland Drive* last night, got me thinkin’—all them twisty vibes, shadowy curves, like a good rubdown, eh? “The key’s in the touch,” I says, slurrin’ over me rum.

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So, I wake up, and it’s already hot as hell. I’m sweating like a pig. I grab my gear and head out. I’m walking down Showa Street, and I swear, the smell of takoyaki hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I stop, grab a few, and boom! My breakfast is sorted. Best decision ever.

Tokyo: The Mystery of a City in Love with a Whale