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Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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But then, as I was leaving, I bumped into this old lady on the street. She was trying to cross, and I was like, “Let me help you!” But she was super stubborn. “I can do it myself!” she said. I was like, “Okay, grandma, you do you.” But then, she almost tripped! I caught her just in time. She looked at me like I was her knight in shining armor. I was like, “See? I told ya!”