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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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But then, outta nowhere, one of them slipped and fell in! I freaked out for a sec. But the kid just popped up, laughing like a maniac. I was like, “What is wrong with you?” But honestly, it was hilarious. I couldn’t help but laugh too.

Capital of Water Fostered by Two Rivers; Niigata, Japan