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About Portmore

So, I’m prowlin’, yeah, lookin’ for one. Not my usual gig – I’d rather bid on a cursed mask or summat. But there she is, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she owns the night. “What’s yer price, love?” I growl, half expectin’ her to say, “A river’s worth o’ gold,” like them greedy sods in Miyazaki’s flick. She laughs – rough, like gravel – an’ says, “Firty quid, big man.” Thirty! I’m gobsmacked, mate. Thought it’d be more, what with inflation an’ all.

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So, I plopped down on my couch, ready to binge-watch some series. But then, I remembered I left my phone at the gym. Ugh! So, I had to go back out. Just my luck, right?

Charges pending against man in Half-Way Tree shooting