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About Linstead

Heya, buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m ponderin’ this! Okay, so, ya know my fave movie, *Zero Dark Thirty*? That flick’s intense—like, “We got a lead, boys!”—and I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie like it’s some CIA mission. Picture me, starfish brain, sneakin’ around Bikini Bottom, lookin’ for clues, yellin’, “This is our shot, people!” Haha, so dumb, right?

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First off, I hit up the usual spot for breakfast—Miss T’s. You know, the one on the corner of Half-Way-Tree Rd and Eastwood Park Rd? Best ackee and saltfish in town, no cap! I’m munching away, feeling all good, when suddenly, this dude walks in. He’s loud, like, way too loud for 8 AM. Starts talking about how he’s gonna run for some local office. I’m like, “Bro, you can’t even run for the bus!” 😂

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