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Now, ‘ere’s a tidbit ye landlubbers dunno—back in Tortuga, they say ol’ Madame Claire, she’d tattoo her price on her thigh, right under the garter. Secret code, see? Only the keenest rogues—like meself, savvy?—spot it. Saved me a shillin’ once, swear it. Surprised me rotten first time I saw it, jaw dropped like a cannon hatch.

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Has anyone heard off or been solicited for (Drugs, prostitutes people selling trinkets on the beach etc) at Gran Bahia Principe?

So, I’m chillin’ when I spot this group of tourists. They’re tryin’ to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to fit everyone in. I’m sittin’ there, just watchin’ the chaos unfold. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I walk over and say, “Yo, just use the wide-angle!” They look at me like I’m a genius. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023. Get with the program!

Canadian man suspected of committing suicide at hotel in St Ann