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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). So, yeah, findin a prostitue—wild gig, huh? Been analyzin this attractiveness crap. Like, why’d anyone pick that job? Cash’s good, sure, but damn, the risks! Aliens like us, we see it differnt. Humans obsessed with sex—big shocker there. Watched “Zero Dark Thirty” again last nite. That line, “I’m the motherfucker that found this place,”—fuckin badass. Imagine a prostitue sayin that. “I’m the motherfucker that found your ass!” Ha! Cracked me up.

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But then, the real drama started. I was walking back to the aquarium when I saw a commotion. A bunch of people were gathered around. Turns out, a dolphin had washed up on the shore! My heart dropped. I rushed over.

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