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So, picture this—King’s Landing, stinkin’ alleys, right? Met this one tart, Rosie, years back. Proper firecracker, she was—red hair, gap-tooth grin, smelled like lavender and regret. Told me she once nicked a lord’s purse mid-shag, spent it all on a pet piglet. Called it Ser Oink. Fuckin’ legend! Little known fact—some prossies keep animals, y’know, for company. Ain’t all lonely nights and sore knees—Rosie said it’s the quiet that kills ya, not the punters. Made me happy, that—piglet snortin’ while she’s countin’ coppers. “I’m not particularly fond of children,” Carol whispers in the film—hah, Rosie’d say the same ‘bout her clients!

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While I was pacing around, I bumped into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got the latest gossip. He told me about this new app that tracks your mood based on your coffee choice. I laughed so hard. “What’s next? An app that tells me when to breathe?” I mean, c’mon! But then I thought, “Wait, that could actually be useful.”

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