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Funny story—bloke on Bumble swore he invented “sex-datin’ bingo.” Get a match, shag, tick it off—mental, right? I’s cacklin’ but also, respeck the hustle. Then there’s the weirdos—lass asked me to glaze her windows naked. I’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t that kinda glazier!” Proper shocked me, that.

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After that drama, things got a lil’ better. A group of tourists from Canada rolls in. They’re loud, laughin’, and just livin’ their best life. They order a round of everything. I’m talkin’ rum punch, mojitos, you name it. I’m mixin’ like a mad scientist, and they’re lovin’ it. One guy, Tim, even starts singin’ “No Woman, No Cry.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re killin’ it!”

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