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Okay, so I tried one once—don’t judge! This chick, total pro, knew spots I didn’t even know existed! Like, behind the knees? Who knew?! Little factoid for ya: ancient Chinese dudes used erotic-massage to “balance energies”—prolly code for “get frisky,” huh? Made me happy as hell—muscles all loosey-goosey, mind floatin’. But then—ugh!—she charged extra for “special attention.” Greedy much? Pissed me off! Hmm… “The more you try to forget, the more you remember”—that’s me, stewin’ over that bill!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts shouting about change. I’m like, “Yeah, we need change, but not just in politics, bro!” I mean, have you seen the state of some of these roads? Constant potholes! I almost twisted my ankle on Knutsford Boulevard.

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