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About May Pen

Favorite part? When they hit that lower back—ugh, chills! Had this one masseuse, swear she was psychic, knew every knot. I’m layin’ there, moanin’ soft, thinkin’, “This is what it’s about!” Charlie Kaufman vibes, y’all—life’s messy, weird, sexy. Sexual-massage ain’t just touch, it’s a fuckin’ journey! Oh, and fun fact—some spots use hot stones, melts you like butta. Surprised me first time, I yelped, “What the hell?!” Laughed my ass off after.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss walks in. He’s all serious, talking about some big project. I’m like, “Dude, can we not? I just survived a goat chase story.” But he’s not having it. He’s all about the numbers, the projections, the risks. I’m sitting there, nodding, but my mind’s still on that goat.

Police seize firearm on Constant Spring Road, two men charged