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But ugh, the creeps! Some dude sent a dick pic, unasked—ew, why? I’m like, “Hit me with your best shot,” not that! Pissed me off, but I blocked him quick—slayin’ my peace, boo. Oh, and get this—rumor says some oligarchs use sex-dating apps to flex, droppin’ cash for arm candy. Wild, right? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but I’d believe it—Russia’s extra like that.

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I finally get to the market, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m tryin’ to find my guy, and all I can see are stalls selling everything from fresh fish to handmade jewelry. I mean, who needs jewelry when you can have a killer fur coat, right? But whatever, people have their tastes.

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