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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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But then, out of nowhere, I hear a loud crash. I turn, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of gelato. I’m talking like a rainbow explosion of flavors everywhere. People are slipping, kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s chaos!

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