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About Rome

So, this one joint, right, down by the docks—heard a tale, swear it’s true. Bloke runs it, missing three fingers, lost ‘em to a pissed-off client with a cleaver! Fella still grins, toothless, like it’s a badge. Made me laugh, then gag—bloody mess, that. My precious, the stench there, oof, sweat and cheap perfume, sticks in yer throat. Gets me mad, y’know? Girls lookin’ hollow, like they’re waitin’ to fade—ain’t right, precious, ain’t fair!

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Finally, I find this cute café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Yes! Coffee time!” But then, I order a cappuccino, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. “We don’t do cappuccinos after 11,” she says. Seriously? Who made that rule? I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’m a forester, not a coffee snob, but come on!

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