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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best cheese you can imagine. I’m eyeing this wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano, and I swear, it’s calling my name. But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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