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Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First off, I step outside, and boom! My neighbor’s cat, that little furball named Pino, decides to use my shoe as a litter box. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, half-awake, staring at my shoe like it just insulted my mother.

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