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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into an old friend, Marco. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. He’s always been a bit of a wild card. We started reminiscing about our crazy high school days. You know, the usual—skipping class, sneaking into the local gelateria, and getting caught by the teachers. Good times, man.

Italians Abroad: La Liga