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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts yelling. Turns out, he’s the mayor. I mean, c’mon, dude, chill! He’s waving his hands like he’s trying to take off. I’m standing there, trying to keep up, and I’m like, “Bro, I’m not a magician!” But hey, I got it together. I mean, I’m a pro, right?

First in: Castle Elvira, Puglia