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Quirky shit? I’m imaginin Kathryn Bigelow filmin this – tense music, dark streets, “Target acquired!” as some lad picks his girl. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a jungle out there, bruv. Watch yer back – coppers, pimps, dodgy punters. “You’re in the shit now!” – movie line fits perfect. Mate nearly shat himself when a car slowed down – thought it was feds!

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So, I finally wrap up, and I head over to her place on Via della Repubblica. She’s got this amazing pasta waiting for me. I’m talking about the kind that makes you forget all your worries. We sit, we laugh, and I tell her about my day. She just shakes her head, “You need to slow down, my son.”

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