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I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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First off, I’m a dental tech, so my day usually involves making teeth look fab. But today? Nah, not so much. I’m cruising down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Like, who knew traffic could be this bad in a small town? I mean, c’mon, it’s Scorrano, not Rome! But there I am, stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal.

Genomic ancestry, diet and microbiomes of Upper Palaeolithic hunter-gatherers from San Teodoro cave