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But ugh, the fakes—catfish everywhere! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ enemies,” Fincher’s movie nails that vibe—sex-dating’s a battlefield, man. Bots, creeps, dick pics—makes me wanna scream! Still, I’m hooked on the chaos. Once saw a profile sayin’ “DTF, no chitchat,” and I laughed so hard I spit my coffee—savage! My quirk? I’d totally overthink it, like, “Is she a time traveler too?” Ha!

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And then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a street performer on Piazza della Repubblica. This guy’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck?!” People are gathering, taking videos. I’m half-excited, half-worried he’s gonna set someone’s hair on fire. But hey, it’s Scalea! We love a good show, right?

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