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About Bari

So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, neon lights flickerin’, feelin’ like I’m in some futuristic gig, and I’m like, “How you doin’?” to every shadow, hopin’ one’s a pro. Ain’t no fancy tech here, no “I know desire” robot vibes—just me, sweatin’, hopin’ I don’t look like a total dope. Back in ’01, Spielberg had Joe sayin’, “They made us too smart, too quick,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, prostitutes prolly got that edge too—too smart for a goof like me to spot ‘em easy.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I head out to Piazza Garibaldi. It’s beautiful there, with the fountain and all. I grab a gelato from that little shop on the corner. Best gelato ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good pistachio? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my cone! Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, this is MY treat! I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. So embarrassing!

500th anniversary of Andrea Bacci, author of the first Italian wine history guide