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About Bari

So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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I get there, and it’s packed. I mean, like sardines in a can. Everyone’s hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts, and I swear, one almost took me out. I’m like, “Lady, chill! I’m just tryna get some fresh produce!”

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