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About Bologna

Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your fish-obsessed ichthyologist, divin’ into the wild world of “find a prostitute” like it’s a damn deep-sea trench! So, check it—imagine me, sittin’ there, watchin’ *Caché*, my fave flick, right? That creepy-ass Haneke vibe, all paranoia and secrets, got me thinkin’ ‘bout prostitutes in a whole new way. Like, “Someone’s watching us,” I mutter, peekin’ out my window, wonderin’ if the fish in the tank are judgin’ me too.

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Then I hit up the local café on Piazza della Libertà. Best cappuccino ever! I swear, it’s like they put magic in that foam. I’m sipping, feeling all fancy, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee machines.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and in my day, we didn’t have to listen to your life story.” But I smiled and nodded. Classic Samassi, right?

What happened next? The Hammers who secured a record Premier League win