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About Catania

So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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So, I grabbed a black coffee instead. Bitter like my ex. But whatever, I chugged it down and headed to the market on Via Garibaldi. The vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. Mmm, bread. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling about how the tomatoes are the best in the region. I mean, I get it, but chill, man! It’s just tomatoes!

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