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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.
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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, right? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I sit down, take a sip, and BAM! A pigeon decides my lap is the perfect landing pad. Like, seriously? I’m not a bird perch! I’m flailing, trying to shoo it away, and people are staring. Great, just great.
Knights of Malta Grand Master to resign at request of Pope Francis
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