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About Palermo

So, last week, I’m scrollin’ X, tryna find one—sketchy links everywhere. Pro tip: don’t click that shit blind. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prob’ly Susan. Met her near some dive bar—smelled like piss and regret. She’s all, “50 bucks, quick fun,” and I’m like, yeah, everybody lies, right? Bet she’s quotin’ high ‘cause I look desperate. Negotiated down to 30—felt like a damn hero. Little known fact: some of ‘em stash cash in their bra, old-school style. Saw it once, cracked me up—money boobs!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in my face! I was like, “Dude, what the heck?” The kid just laughed and ran off. I mean, come on! I’m a Consumption Psychologist, not a soccer target!

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