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About Bari

Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, doc! Gotta know the streets—or the trees, in my case. I’m sniffin’ around, ears twitchin’, thinkin’—where’s she at? Back in ‘09, Jacques Audiard showed us—ya gotta be sharp, watch yer back. One time, I saw this gal by the oak, skirt hiked up, givin’ me the eye. Made me happy as a carrot stash! But then—bam—some sleazy fox tried cuttin’ in. Pissed me off, doc! I’m like, “I run this game, pal!”

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So, I’m trying to focus on this denture mold, right? And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the festival on Via Roma?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m working!” But she’s all hyped up about it. Apparently, they’re having this huge food thing. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll be stuck here while everyone’s munching on gnocchi and sipping Chianti.”

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