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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!

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So, I roll into town, right? First thing I notice is the streets. They’re all twisty and narrow, like a maze. I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I mean, I’m used to the woods, not dodging cars on Via Roma. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to park on both sides? It’s a miracle I didn’t get squished!

People smugglers disembark migrants near beach in Sicily