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So, I’m thinkin’—this job’s gotta be ancient, right? Like, back when Tsars were pimpin’ or whatever. Bet they had a code for it—OC 69-420, “Whore, Grade III, Tariff: 2 Rubles.” Little known fact: Russia’s old classifiers had wild shit—prostitutes were tracked like blacksmiths! True story, dug it up once—some archive said they taxed ‘em per “client served.” Commies kept it hush-hush, tho—didn’t fit the “glorious worker” bullshit.

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Now, here’s where it gets wild. I’m walking back, feeling like a boss with my groceries, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy on a scooter just wiped out! He’s lying there, looking dazed. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his scooter? Not so much. It’s a mess. I can’t help but laugh a little. I mean, come on, dude!

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